“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” — Unknown.

The first time I heard that quote was back in the early 2000s. While it was an insightful quote, its meaning didn’t resonate. And honestly, I didn’t give its meaning much thought. (I did tuck it away to be used occasionally in conversation when it felt appropriate.)

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when that quote took on an entirely new meaning. I listened to a 10 Percent Happier podcast where Dan Harris interviewed Jon Kabat-Zinn. The topic was pain vs. suffering and rethinking anxiety.

I don’t recall what was said that triggered my light-bulb moment. However, I remember my excitement as the following thoughts danced around in my head.

When I #judge myself harshly for a mistake, I take the pain (the mistake) and turn it into suffering (the judging).

Or when I invite a #negative #thought (pain) in for coffee by ruminating over it (suffering), I’m choosing to turn that pain in the ass thought into suffering.

Or when I’m allowing the pain of someone else’s #criticism to play repeatedly in my head on a loop (suffering).

Aha! That’s what the quote means. Pain happens, and suffering is a #choice I make depending on my reaction to the pain.

Anything negative can cause pain, and I turn it into suffering when I choose to react by doing things like:

What-if-ing

Judging